Now I know!

I've shed a tear or two today! The first time was this afternoon when, after my visit to the dentist to have my teeth cleaned I sat by Hanna's grave. I was chatting and telling her what I had been up to. Today I have started to send out thank you cards to all who sent me condolence letters and also yesterday and today I have finally booked all the accommodation needed for my trip to America. This booking of accommodation was always Hanna's task when planning our holidays together. She had a talent for finding the most romantic places for us to stay. Over the last two days I have finally understood how much effort it costs and how hard she worked to get it right.

At one stage I got it hopelessly wrong and booked a hotel in Albany, Western Australia, instead of Albany, in the State of New York!! It was only when the confirmation email came that I realized my mistake and had to ring up and cancel it, which initially it said I could NOT!!!! So while sitting there and telling her this I shed a tear or two because she would have liked to have helped in the planning and now could not, and I missed her so.

The tubs of flowers on the grave I had arranged from the monies various friends gave me and of course I could not resist putting one there from me either. On Sunday we had the six week mass for Hanna. It is nothing really special, her name gets mentioned during the mass and prayers are said. It was nice though to acknowledge friends and acquaintances who had come especially for it.

My flowers are also a token of my remembering a special anniversary of ours which occurs while I am away.

The second time I could not help weeping was when I found this photo of Hanna and Christopher. I took it sometime in May and it is the look of affection on Christopher's face for his Omi and her looking directly at me that tipped me over. He is such a loving child and the two of them had such a special relationship that gladdened my heart, and was a great comfort to Hanna during the last weeks of her life. We talked about it when we could quite a bit at the time. So it's a very special photo of a unique moment in time.