27 August 2014
......and the Sun Shone.
It's exactly 4 weeks since Hanna died and two weeks since the funeral. Over breakfast in the sun on my balcony, when I thought about meeting the daughters in her house this morning I was overcome with sorrow and loneliness. To be expected still, but it does sometimes seem to come from nowhere.
The meeting with the daughters went as expected and we went round the house trying to decide in general terms what was to be done with it all. Each of us had memories with certain items, books, clothes, mementoes, and photograph albums. Like in my house there are cards she has given me, I found cards I had given her. Occasionally I found them used as a book mark or in one case put in a frame and hung on the wall.
Hanna had made photograph albums of her own and her daughters lives. I looked at a couple and found that very early on, she had documented some of our shared activity and her often long train journeys to come and see me. Such lovely memories and the pictures of her I had forgotten I had taken, moved me to tears again. In one album she had documented with cards, photographs and comments our short trip to Prague in 1992. The everlasting memory I have of this trip, is of kissing her while we were travelling on the Metro. It was one of those moments when even in a crowded place two lovers hearts are one and they do not notice the crowd. Well in this particular case the crowd were all young students and they clapped and applauded us with such joyous smiles in their eyes and on their lips. It made us laugh and was a very special moment, especially as we were the oldest couple on this carriage of the Metro.
I collected a number of things I would like to have and put them to one side. After about two hours I had had enough of sadness and left to cycle over to the cemetery. The gardeners had made a small start by removing all the dead flowers, so now I can place some new ones there. The little mouse came and was not at all put out by my presence.
Back home I put my hiking boots on and went for a long walk through the town. I met a former student of mine, a really nice man from La Mancha. We exchanged news and parted with intentions to meet again next week. At the Post Office I collected a surprise package from a friend. I also collected the flight tickets for my trip to the USA from the travel agency and then returned home to tea. The package contained some nice gifts, not just for me, but the grandchildren as well. A little bit of pleasure to end the day on. Nice.
So today, unlike yesterday, the sun shone, and the fond memories made my heart warm too.